The Outsiders: A Stupid Night Out In London
by Incredible2002
Summary: Pinky, Brain, Wakko, Pesto and Squit are going clubbing in London, which would lead to some horrifying hijinks. This is the first episode, I am doing. Note: I don't own the characters. Please review. UPDATE: Sorry, I accidentally deleted my first chapter but I brought it back despite now I lost over 70 views, please don't hate me. Make sure you like it, follow it and review it.
1. The Plan

**A STUPID NIGHT OUT IN LONDON - The Outsiders (1st Episode)**

**Enjoy!**

**Part 1: The Plan**

(Squit N/R: In case you're interested, at the walking with da bros' day in L.A. began 'with prayers, followed by hymns and then an inspirational reading. Here it began with Pinky and Pesto showing us a pornographic video.)

Pinky: Watch this.

Wakko: This is tame.

Brain: What the hell? Pinky, they're not even naked. Oh, wait a minute, is she gonna?

(they all gag at the video)

Brain: **Oh, my God, that can't be real!**

Squit: That's got to be chocolate.

Pinky: They should've got a bigger cup.

Pesto: Yeah.

Squit: **REALLY!** How tame is that, dafuq?! (gasp) Oh, Christ, I'm gonna heave.

Wakko: Jesus wept! Don't lick it! She's gonna vomit.

Squit: I'm gonna vomit.

Pesto: This is the best scene, look.

(they gag again, loudly)

Wakko: Ohhh! Oh Is it possible to un-see things? I don't like girls anymore.

Squit: So you get a new laptop and the first thing you did was find that?

Pinky: No, it wasn't the first thing.

Squit: This was the first thing.

(WOMAN MOANS) Oh, y'all such saddos.

Wakko: **I AM NOT A SADDO**...I'm a man!

Squit: That's it, we can't carry on like this!

Pesto: Carry on like what?

Squit: We can't spend another day treading water, being the same old sad cases.

Pesto: (confused) Whaddaya mean by dat?

Squit: Nothing, we can't be the same old sad cases.

Pesto: (furiously) Are you calling me crackers? Are you saying that I am a large sodium covered square here to amuse you? **IS THAT WHAT YA SAYIN'?!**

Squit: **NO! **You idiot, you not a sad case!

Pesto: HA! That's what I thought. I'm not a sad case.

Pinky: Yo dad's gay.

Pesto: Fuck off.

Squit: Look, the point we've got to do something else.

Pesto: What do you mean?

Pinky: Carpe diem that puh?

Wakko: Piss off my siblings?

Brain: Seize the world, do something unexpected?

Squit: No. Reinvent ourselves, show the girls and everyone else who we really are. Like clubbing in London.

Brain: No, thanks. I'm not taking my car 'coz the insurance company will kill me.

Squit: Awww, what?

Wakko: Well, I could drive us. I got a car last weekend.

Squit: You've got a car?! Have you passed your test already?

Wakko: Yeah, I have.

Pesto: Now we don't have to drive around to the airport in Brain's ol' bitch mobile.

Brain: Good 'coz I'm not going.

Squit: Look, you don't have to drive, will you come, please?

Brain: It's not the driving. It's more that we won't get in anywhere, won't get served and might get robbed, stabbed or killed.

Pinky: Bullshit! I go up to London all the time.

Brain: When do you ever go to London?

Pinky: I went 5 times, I fucked some girl up there.

Squit: Did you? Where was that?

Pinky: It was in the Tower of London.

Squit: (sarcastically) The Tower of London? What did you do after you'd fucked her, cut her head off? Showed her the crown jewels?

Pinky: Maybe because she'd already seen the crown jewels, smartass!

Squit: Whatever. (looks at Brain) Brain, please come along.

Brain: But it'll be expensive.

Squit: C'mon, now you're just making excuses.

Pinky: Plus, don't some of those clubs charge? I've already told you, I know the homie who runs all the doors. He'll slip us in.

Brain: And when that turns out to be bullshit, then what?

(Billie walks to Brain.)

Billie: Hi, B!

Brain: Bills!

Billie: How's your stomach?

Brain: Oh good.

Billie: I have some great news to tell you. We're going to London on Saturday, clubbing. Do you want to come?

Brain: Sounds fun, we'd love to go. Which club are you going to?

Billie: Erm Spearmint Rhino.

Brain: Wait, Isn't that a strip club?

Billie: Yeah, sorry, Buster Bunny made a mistake. We're going to one of the big ones, one of the big cool ones right in the middle of London.

Brain: Cool which one?

Billie: Erm the Land of The Sound. And that's exactly where we're going.

Brain, Pinky, Pesto, Squit and Wakko: **NICE!**

Wakko: I'm driving if you want a lift.

Billie: Nah, we'll probably head up early. A lift back would be great, though.

Wakko: No problemo.

Pinky: So do you go clubbing a lot?

Billie: Me?

Pinky: Uhhh...yeah, you.

Billie: Erm Yeah, yeah, course. Anyways, dancing on the podium probably or up by the speakers, where it's, if anything, too loud!

Brain, Pinky, Pesto, Squit and Wakko: NICE! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!

Brain: See you there.

Billie: See ya.

Brain: Great.

Billie: See you later, then.

(she leaves)

Pinky: What did I tell you? London and pussy go hand in hand.

Brain: Fuck yeah, I'm going on a date with Billie!

Squit: It's not really a date ya know.

Brain: I think it is.

Pinky: Shall we go and get ready for tomorrow night?

Brain: Yep, good idea.

**TO BE CONTINUED**...end of part 1.

Part 2 coming soon.


	2. Trip Gone Wrong

**Part 2: Trip Gone Wrong**

(All 4 were walking to the Warner's siblings' house to pick up Wakko.)

(Squit N/R: I had no idea how we'd actually get into a club, 'but I wasn't taking any chances and wore my smartest shoes, 'something Brain didn't do.)

Squit: Uhhh. Why are you wearing sneakers, B?

Brain: Because they look good. Everyone wears sneakers you know.

Squit: I specifically said no sneakers, not if we want to get into clubs. Pinky hasn't got sneakers on, Pesto hasn't got sneakers on, I haven't got sneakers on.

Pinky: Yeah. Ewww...you've got fucking flippers on! What size are they anyway?

Brain: Well duh, Pinky. I am size 8, my size.

Pinky: Yeah, Ronald McDonald called - he wants his shoes back. (Laughs)

Brain: Just shut up, Pinky.

Squit: Well there's nothing wrong with these, they're 1970s French. (looks at his own 1979 Dior's he's wearing)

Pesto: Hey! Where are my-a flippers? At least you'll be all dank if yo stupid-ass fall in the mafia.

Squit: Yeah, very funny. Look, all I'm saying is would it have killed you to wear "**normal**" shoes just to be on the safe side?

(They saw Wakko's 1975 Ferrari)

Pesto: Whoa, check out Wak's car!

Pinky: Yeah! It's shit-hot!

Squit: I'd say half-right. (The car looks half-damaged and brown) Yep, it's shit.

(Pinky knocks their door and Dot opens it as she is smoking weed and wears emo-pink hair.)

Brain: Hi, Dot! I was…

Dot: Don't ask. He's already upstairs getting ready.

Pesto: So how's things with you?

Pinky: Yeah! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages.

Dot: Wak! Those assholes wanna know if you're coming out to play or not.

Wakko: (upstairs) Coming!

Pinky: (carefully stares at Dot's boobs) So D, would ya came to tha club wit us?

Dot: Yeah, will you stop staring at my tits, please?! (leaves)

Pinky: OK, I'm thinking it's a big N.O.

Pesto: She must be on the blob.

Wakko: (comes downstairs to go outside) All right? What do you think of the car, then? It's like a tractor beam for fanny.

Brain: (nervous) I love it! Good job, buddy!

Wakko: It's got a Piper exhaust and a well smart body-kit. My sister's boyfriend is helping me do it up, he's a mechanic.

Pinky: Well it will be nice for Pesto's dad to have a man about the house, Wak.

Pesto & Wakko: What does that mean?

Pinky: It means, "Does Pesto's dad suck dick?"

Pesto: No! But your sister does.

Wakko: No! Well, I mean, she might do. Oh who am I kidding anymore, she definitely does.

Brain: Oh nice Porsche Engineering sticker by the way. (looks at Wakko's Porsche sticker on his car)

Wakko: I know. I put that on myself, it's gotta be worth at least a hand-job.

Squit: How fast does it go?

Wakko: Who knows? I ain't got it going yet.

Squit: This'll be the first time you've driven it?

Wakko: Nah, it don't work, it ain't got an engine in it yet. Dave's still trying to find me one.

Pinky: But, motherfucka, I thought you were driving us up to the airport.

Wakko: Yeah, so did I.

Brain: (getting angry) Oh, god. Why...why did you...why haven't you told us that before.

Wakko: Well, I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Brain: So how do you plan to drive us up there without a car?!

Wakko: I thought I was going to drive your car.

Brain: But you're not insured to drive my car, Wakko!

Wakko: (pondered) Ohhh. Whoops.

Brain: (sarcastically) **WHOOPS!** That's it, a fucking "whoops"?! Hey, Larry. Did you hear that guy without an engine saying "**WHOOPS"!?**

Wakko: God, I said I was sorry.

Squit: Oh, well, since Wakko had one job but clearly FAILED, I guess there's only one last solution. (They look at Brain about his car)

Brain: What? (They still look at Brain until Brain gasps realising what's gonna happen next) Oh no! Nope! Sorry, not gonna happen.

Squit: But, you have to.

Brain: No! I already said no, and the insurance company will get pissed if they find out I've driven that car to London.

Pesto: Oh, don't beat yourself up. They won't find out.

Pinky: And even if they do, you'll have far too many fingers up Billie to care.

Squit: Please, Brain?

(Brain finally realized he knew what he had to do.)

Brain: Oh, Christ, thanks a lot, Wakko!

Wakko: You need to be clearer about things, I reckon.

Brain: (furious) OK, is this clear enough? (Brain hits Wakko with a pencil) You're a fucking idiot!

(They walk to Brain's car)

Pinky: Calm down! I'll get some beers for the trip.

Brain: I can't drink and drive!

Pinky: Course you can, it's just a saying!

(Squit N/R: So Pinky, Wakko and Pesto already brought lagers from the gas station and we were gone. But I feel like the episode is gonna take to long while we're in the plane sooo...let's just cut to the chase in England, shall we? The plan was simple - get to London, get into a club and pull Billie and Amber. I said it was simple, not realistic. Meanwhile, we can enjoy the enlightening conversation in the car.)

Pinky: OK, newsflash, who would you rather fuck, Squit's mom…?

Squit: (facepalms) Great.

Pinky: ...Wakko's sister…?

Wakko: **ASS!**

Pinky: ...or Pesto's homo dad?

Pesto: **FUCK OFF! **(silence) Maybe...Squit's ma.

Squit: Don't join in, Pesto!

Pinky: Well, I dunno about dat. Wakko's sister would have the tighter snatch, I guess.

Wakko: Leave her out of this!

Brain: But Squit's mom has got huge tits.

Wakko: They are amazing.

Squit: (sarcastically) Thanks, Wak.

Brain: Although Wakko's sister looks like she'd be better at sucking dick with Pesto's dad.

Pinky: Like father like daughter. I could see her going at it like a dog eating hot fries.

Wakko & Pesto: Shut up, Pinky!

Pinky: I'd like to put my cock in them both.

Squit: That's a touching sentiment.

Pinky: I'd touch yo mama's sentiment.

Squit: That doesn't mean anything.

Pinky: It means I'd touch her puh - with my diugh.

Squit: (sarcastically) Nice one!

Wakko: I've thought about it, and I'd definitely rather fuck Squit's mom.

Brain: Are you sure, Wak? What about your sister's tight snatch?

Wakko: No, totally sure.

Pinky: Nice, slow down a minute, B! (Pinky opens the window to shout "Bus Wankers!" to all the British people waiting for a bus.)

Brain: (laughing hysterically) Bus wankers! Where did that come from? Bus wankers!

Pinky: I dunno, it just felt right! Remember, this is England. You could see their little faces drop as they thought, "We must be the bus wankers."

Pesto: Pull over, B. I need a piss.

Brain: I can't pull over, there's a bus lane.

Pesto: Please, I'm desperate, c'mon.

Brain: You'll just have to hold it, Pesto, we're late enough.

(Pesto found an empty can so he can pee in here as he was laughing like a villain.)

Squit: What are you doing?

Pesto: Ayy, coo off.

Brain: Are you pissing in my car?

Pesto: Nah.

Brain: Then, what's that noise?

Pesto: I'm pissing in a can.

Brain: What the fuck?! You'll get piss on the floor!

Pesto: Ayy, coo off. It won't overflow. I've got mah chap's-eye right in there, so I can't miss. No problemo.

Pinky: It stinks, Pesto!

Pesto: (gasp) Uh-oh, it don't wanna stop.

Pinky: **WHAT**?!

Brain: What do you mean, "it"?!

Squit: Just stop pissing yourself, P!

Pesto: Quick, pass me another can!

Wakko: That's not happening.

Pesto: It's filled up to the top, I've got to get it out and...**OH SHIT!** (gasp) Oh, my helmet! (gasp) I've cut it on the can! (gasp) Oh, I think it's bleeding!

Brain: Fuck bleeding! Is it still pissing?

Pesto: Oh, it stings!

Squit: Does anybody wanna swap seats with me?

Pesto: I will!

Squit: Not you, Pesto!

Brain: Get rid of it, Pesto!

(Pesto threw it out the window but somehow got 25% piss on Pinky.)

Pinky: Ah, Pesto!

(Squit N/R: So high on the smell of Pesto's urine, 'we headed for the bright lights of London.)

**TO BE CONTINUED**...end of part 2.

Part 3 coming soon.


	3. Bus Wankers Gone Wrong

**Part 3: Bus Wankers Gone Wrong**

(Squit N/R: Look out, ladies, phase one was complete. We had finally made it to London. And we even managed to see all the sights 'Because Brain got us totally fucking lost.)

Brain: It must be somewhere round here.

Pinky: Well, duh. How should we know? I knew we'd get lost.

Brain: Thanks a lot, you idiots!

Wakko: What did I do?

Squit: Lemme see. Wakko has a car without an engine and Pesto pissing **IN THE CAR!**

Pesto: Ayy, coo off! Is it our fault you're a shit driver?

Brain: Look, I don't want Billie to be pissed off if I'm late, OK.

Wakko: Ha. You need to grow some balls, I reckon.

Pinky: Why not pull over and ask someone where the club full of clunge is?

Pesto: Wait. (Gets out his laptop from his suitcase) I've got Google Maps on my laptop. Should be able to find it no problemo!

Brain: Pesto, will you just shut...

Pinky: Aye aye!

Brain: No, Pinky! **DON'T!**

Pinky: (Looking at the people waiting for a bus) **Bus wankers!** (HE LAUGHS)

(Brain pulled over because of the traffic.)

Pinky: Why are we stopping?

Brain: I tried to say! Oh, Christ, Pinky!

Pinky: Well it's not my fault if I...oh shit! (He saw an angry person from the bus coming.) Oh, shit! Oh fuck, they're coming! Shit! Drive!

Brain: Where?! Where am I actually gonna drive to?!

Squit: Anywhere!

Wakko: Oh, shit!

(Brain drives to the pavement.)

Squit: No, Brain, anywhere but the pavement! **ANYWHERE BUT THE PAVE…!**

(The car is on the pavement)

Squit: ...ment. I specifically said anywhere BUT the pavement.

(A black man comes to Brain)

Brain: Greetings, British people, I… (Brain is getting choked by a man) Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I...

Man: Who's a wanker? I'm a wanker, am I? Yeah?

Brain: I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Man: Yeah? Yeah?

Squit: He said he was sorry.

Brain: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry

Man: I'm a wanker, yeah?

Squit: He's sorry. He's really sorry.

Brain: I'm sorry. (The man let's go of Brain's neck.) Sorry.

Man: (HE LAUGHS AND LEAVES) I'd rather be a bus wanker than drive that piece of yellow shit with those fucking Americans!

(silence)

Pinky: Holy fuck, words cannot describe how you two pussied out.

Brain: (angrily) Oh, what now?!

Pinky: Don't "what now" me! (mimics Brain) Ooh, sorry, sorry! Ooh, I'm sorry, don't hurt me, sorry.

Brain: 'Coz you got me fucking throttled!

Pinky: Ooh, sorry!

Brain: Oh, fuck off!

Wakko: (mimics Brain) Sorry I'm on the pavement.

Pesto: (mimics Brain) Sorry, sorry, sorry for my little shit-ass car.

Pinky: I'm sorry I'm alive and a bender!

Brain: **JUST FUCK OFF!**

(Brain rotates his car back to the road continued driving)

Wakko: Sorry, B!

(They all laugh, except for Brain and Squit)

Wakko: Sorry I'm such a tool!

Pesto: Oh, sorry, I pissed in the car!

Pinky: Ooh, sorry I pissed British people off!

(Squit N/R: Don't get me wrong, Brain's a good friend, but it's fair to say he drives like a retard. But eventually, in Chinatown, just a few hundred yards from the club, we found the perfect parking space. Well, almost perfect.)

Brain: Guy, I don't think I can park here.

Squit: We've been driving round for an hour looking for a space. This one's perfect, let's just get going!

Brain: But it says we'll get clamped.

Pinky: Nah, it's a weekend, bruh? Different rules.

Squit: I'm sure he's right, B, and no-one clamps any more.

Pesto: Please can we get going? I really need to check my D. I think I've got a big problemo.

Brain: (annoyed) Can you stop saying "problemo"? It's not cool or funny, it's just embarrassing.

Pinky: Don't worry, P, he'll say sorry in a minute.

Wakko: Ha.

Brain: Maybe I should move it?

Squit: Brain, listen to me. Billie has agreed to go clubbing with you, that's a big step forward, but in the hour it'll take to find another parking space she could have gone off the idea.

Pinky: She could be jerking off the DJ by now.

Squit: I doubt that's happening, but the point is valid. This is a great parking spot, let's just get a move on.

Wakko: We are wasting valuable boning time.

Brain: Fine. Fine, c'mon. (He was about to lock the car.)

Pesto: Don't bother locking it, B.

Brain: (sarcastically) Yeah, thanks, Pesto.

Pinky: If you're lucky, someone might steal it!

Brain: Yeah, good one.

(Squit N/R: So despite the odd throttling and cut penis, we made it to the club - the girls even seemed pleased to see us!)

Brain: Hey, Bills!

Billie: Oh, hi Brain. I wondered where you were.

Brain: Did you?

Billie: You're actually here.

Brain: Yes. You weren't lying about coming, huh?

Billie: No. Why would I be lying?

Brain: Don't know. Don't know why I said that. Great, well we'll see you in there?

Pinky: Don't be a pussy, just slip in!

(All 5 slips through the line.)

Billie: Oh, are you joining us?

Brain: Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Plucky: (at the back) Are you fucking pushing in?

Max: (at the back) Excuse me, those assholes pushed in!

Buster: So, great you're near the front.

Squit: Yeah, well, been here long enough.

Babs: Suppose you have.

Squit: I just really wanna get inside and dance now.

Buster: Us too.

Babs: There's something very animalistic about our need to dance.

(Plucky and Max are throwing cans at them and laughing.)

Babs: Dude, their throwing stuff at you.

Squit: Don't think so. They're frustrated 'coz they want to get inside too. They're saying, "Let us in, we've got great dancing ants in our pants!"

Plucky: (at the back) Get to the back of the line, you fuckboi!

Amber (behind Squit): Do you mind if we stand with our back to you? I don't want them to think you're with us.

Squit: No probs.

(Squit N/R: Amber had the most beautiful back of a head I'd ever seen. Now all we had to do was get into the club. Until…)

Security Guard: No trainers.

Brain: What?!

Security Guard: No trainers.

Brain: But they're new.

Security Guard: No trainers.

Billie: I'll see you in there in a minute.

Brain: Yep, good idea.

(Billie goes into the club while the other are still outside.)

Wakko: Yep, well, we're fucked.

Brain: I take it you don't know that bouncer, then, Pinky?

Pinky: What's this gotta do with me? I'm not tha one wearing sneakers!

Squit: (angrily) You fuckin' idiot! I am totally in there, like...totally. Would it have killed ya to wear shoes?

Wakko: We could probably make another pair out of yours and have enough leather left to cover a sofa.

Brain: (looks at the homeless guy wearing black shoes) Doesn't matter anyway, I've got a better idea. I'm gonna borrow some shoes.

Squit: What?

(they all look at the homeless guy)

Pinky: Ewww...Hammerhead shark!

Pesto: Oh, no!

Squit: Look, I'm gonna level with you - I am scared. London scares me. The bouncer scares me and that man **REALLY** scares me. Let's just put this one down as another character forming experience and go back home.

Brain: Come on, Squit! It's for Billie! She'll love it, it's romantic.

Squit: Well, It's not Romeo and Juliet. These are gross shoes we're talking about! (Brain runs to the homeless guy.) **NO! DON'T!**

Brain: Scuse me, dude? Dude? Scuse me? Can I borrow your shoes?

Homeless Guy: Eh?

Brain: I wanna borrow your shoes, I'm trying to impress a girl.

(Squit facepalms)

Homeless Guy: Giz a blow job.

Brain: What?

Homeless Guy: I'll give you a blow job.

Brain: No. God, no, no blow jobs. I just want your shoes.

Homeless Guy: All right, £200 quid!

Brain: Great.

Homeless Guy: And your shoes.

Brain: Oh, of course.

(Squit N/A: Good old Brain. I can always rely on him to add a touch of class to proceedings. In many ways, though, it proved how much he valued Billie. Certainly more than he valued his dignity.)

Brain: (he puts on the shoes) Uhhh...they're a bit soggy.

Homeless Guy: Aye, that'll be my piss.

Brain: OK. Thanks.

(He walks with Squit and the others to the club.)

Squit: I can't believe you…!

Brain: Don't!

(Squit N/R: I'm not saying it was the most fucked up club in England, but you have to question, a door policy which says no to sneakers, but a big thumbs up to piss-soaked tramp shoes.)

**TO BE CONTINUED**...end of Part 3.

Part 4 coming soon.


	4. In A Party

**Part 4: In A Party**

(Squit N/R: But we were in! We had got in! Yes! In the club! An actual club! Yes! I've died and gone to "clunge" heaven.)

Squit: Oh, nice! Well, this is what we wanted.

Wakko: This is it, the first day of the rest of our lives.

Pesto: It's one small step for a man, one giant leap for ya flippers.

Brain: Really?

Pinky: Fuck yeah, 'coz you won't be laughing when we pull Billie and Amber.

Brain: No I won't, 'coz it ain't gonna happen.

Pinky: You can spend your evening talking to little bitches, me and Wakko and Pesto are gonna find ourselves some proper puh with experienced snatches. (as Pinky, Wakko and Pesto leaves)

Brain & Squit: Good luck with that.

Squit: (shouting) Just so you know, I think the Tower of London is closed now.

Pinky: (from the distance) Whatever.

Brain: (as he saw Billie walking towards him) There she is. How do I look?

Squit: You look good.

Brain: From the ankles up, obviously.

Squit: Obviously.

Brain: Where's Amber?

Squit: Don't worry, she's keen, I'm sure she'll find me. Away you go, dude.

(Squit leaves.)

Brain: Wish me luck.

(Brain saw Billie)

Brain: Billie.

Billie: Brain, you got in! I thought you were turned away.

Brain: Oh, the bouncers were being complete dicks and there was a thing with my shoes. They're out of ice already. Can you believe that?

(Roderick came along.)

Billie: Oh, Brain, this is Roderick. He's a BFF of Amber's.

Brain: Oh.

Roderick: Y'Okay?

Brain: Yeah, you?

Roderick: Course, man. Saw ya playing the character in Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. You were sick.

Billie: Not to mention, Brain is an old friend of the family, he first met me since we were 13. Not just that, though.

Roderick: Can you smell piss?

Billie: Um Urgh, yes.

(Brain looked worried because of the shoes.)

Roderick: That's totally rank.

Brain: Must be the toilets.

Billie: We should move.

Brain: Yeah, good idea.

(They all left.)

(Squit N/R: Meanwhile, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko headed downstairs to discuss the nuances of sexual politics.)

Pinky: She'd definitely get it!

Wakko: Most definitely.

Pesto: What about her? I think she looked over.

(Points to a girl in the middle.)

Pinky: What, her? Nice body, frightening face. You'd have to do her from behind.

Wakko: What about her? Still big, but then fat girls are more grateful.

(points to a girl in the right.)

Pinky: Wow, check out the jubblies on that! Oh, she'd get it.

Wakko: Until it fell off.

Pesto: Oh, please don't.

Pinky: Please do.

Pesto: (gasp) Oh, no - she's given me a boner, my cut's worse than ever. I've gotta go and fix it. (runs to the bathroom.)

Pinky: Suit yourself, but we might not be here when ya get back. That one's giving us tha old, "I'm gonna milk yo ballsack dry" look.

(Squit N/R: And in the bathroom, Pesto had a very big "problemo" with his dick.)

Pesto: (still rubbing his penis with water as he groans) Please, make it stop.

(Squit N/R: I had my own difficulties in the cock department. Amber was sitting next to one.)

(Squit saw Amber with Max.)

Squit: Amber! There you are, found ya! Ready to put on your dancing shoes?

Amber: I know I am!

Squit: That's good!

(Squit meets Max.)

Squit: Hi, I'm Squit.

Max: Max.

Squit: So, do you come here often, Max?

Max: I bet you say that to all the girls!

Squit: Ya got some chutzpah, I'll give ya that. Anyway, nice to meet ya, Max, but we're going.

Max: What?! I'm good here, thanks.

Squit: Come on. It's getting a bit crowded round here, eh, Max?

Max: Sorry, dude. No chance.

Squit: Look, come on, dude. You've had a good run. Believe me, if I was in ya shoes and I saw a gorgeous girl sitting on her own, I'd have made the move by now, but I'm here now, so...

Max: So what?

Squit: So do the honorable thing and step aside, because I was in with her first.

Amber: No, you weren't.

Max: Jesus, is he for real? He talks like he's from a black and white film.

Squit: Yes, I was. I stood with you in the line.

Amber: Yeah, behind me.

Squit: (getting angry) Well, more beside you. And you specifically asked me if I was coming along tonight. I have got witnesses ya know.

Amber: (annoyed) Squit, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.

Squit: Evidently! So is that it?! So shall I just go away and leave you to it?!

Amber: Yes.

Max: Go away!

Squit: Fine! Fine! That's the last you see of me anyway. (he leaves) Thanks, Max. Thanks a lot, dude.

Max: No probs.

(Squit N/R: I was starting to go off Amber. She wasn't really my type anymore. Elsewhere, my friends were faring no better.)

Roderick: I can still smell it. It's following us.

Billie: Brain, I'm not being rude, but I think that smell might be you.

Brain; Okay, fine. You caught me. These shoes do kick up a bit.

Roderick: Jesus, dafuq is on your feet?

Brain: These aren't my shoes. I had to borrow them to get in.

Billie: I'm sorry but who brings spare shoes to a nightclub?

Brain: No-one. I swapped them with a homeless guy outside the club.

Roderick: What was he, a tramp?

Brain: (confused) I think you're supposed to say homeless now.

Billie: Sorry, you're wearing a tramp's shoes?

Roderick: Bro, that's fuckin' disgusting.

Brain: (looking awkward) Yeah. Maybe.

(Meanwhile in the bathroom, Pesto is still fixing his cut penis as Pinky and Wakko enters the bathroom.)

Pinky: Dafuq's taking ya so long?

Pesto: Oh, bro, it's not good. Get me a band-aid, it's bleeding, look.

Pinky: Motherfucka, put ya dick away! That's disgusting.

Pesto: But that's da problem tho, I can't. It stings when it rubs on my underwear.

Wakko: Well, take your underwear off.

Pesto: Then it'll rub on my jeans.

Pinky: Pesto, no matter what ya old man says, ya can't walk around London with yo dick hanging out.

(3 security guards went into the bathroom to kick Pinky, Wakko and Pesto out for "wanking".)

Pinky: What?!

Pesto: I wasn't doing anything!

Wakko: **HELP!**

(Meanwhile, Brain and Squit are talking in the club.)

Brain: So she didn't see the romantic intention behind the tramp shoes? Not immediately, but if that prick, Roderick, hadn't been there it would've been different. To be fair, the smell is appalling. What happened with Amber anyways?

Squit: Oh, the usual. It was going quite well, then she realised I'm a massive dickhead and she pulled some other asshole.

Brain: So, we didn't…?

Squit: Nope.

(silence)

Brain: This place is trash.

Squit: Ya right, let's go.

(Brain and Squit were about to leave when they saw Pinky, Wakko and Pesto getting kicked out.)

Pesto: No, wait! I wasn't jerking off.

Squit: (sarcastically) Wow, just my luck.

Pesto: My D's cut. **My D is cut! **

(Squit N/R: So we were kicked out, out the club. The actual club kicked us out. Exactly 25 minutes after it started, our life as cool London clubbers was over.)

**TO BE CONTINUED**...end of part 4.

Final part coming soon.


	5. YOU OWE ME 200! - Finale

**Final Part: YOU OWE ME £200!**

(All 5 are walking down the alleyway to Brain's car.)

Squit: So, tell me what happened again?

Pesto: I was looking at the cut on my dick. Pinky and Wakko were helping me out.

Brain: (confused) Sorry, they were helping you out?

Wakko: (embarrassed) Oh boy, here we go.

Pinky: (annoyed) Look, it's not what it sounds. Okay.

Squit: (teasing) 'Coz it sounds like you two were watching Pesto jerking himself off in the bathroom.

Pesto: Ayy, coo off! I wasn't jerking off, I was just rolling it around in my hands.

Squit: Okay, spare us the details.

Brain: Oh, fuck. What if Billie's getting off with that asshole?

Pinky: Don't cry, B. At least you can get your sneakers back.

Brain: What? (He looks back at the homeless guy he met before, as the homeless guy got Brain's sneakers covered in shit.)

Homeless Guy: Fucking beauty. I'll have that, you bastard.

Brain: (annoyed) Oh, wow. How the **FUCK** did this happen?!

Homeless Guy: What?

Brain: Oh, c'mon, man! You've only had them an hour!

Wakko: Maybe he's been out?

Squit: Technically, he's always out.

Brain: (furious) That's it, I'm done! Let's go! I've had enough! Standing sober in an alleyway stinking of piss and wearing a tramp's shoes was not what I had planned for this evening!

(They leave the alleyway where the club is.)

Squit: Out of interest, did you think it would go better or worse than this?

(Squit N/R: So the night was over and all we wanted to do now was get back in Brain's shitty car and go home, but until...)

Brain: Oh no.

(Brain and the others saw his car got clamped.)

Brain: Oh, fuck. Oh, fuckety fuck fucko! Ooh, shit. Fuck, how much money in British pounds have we got between us?!

Pinky: No, yo stupid-ass chose to park here. (laughs)

Brain: Goddamnit, Pinky! (looks at Squit) Squit?

Squit: Sorry, man. I don't have any pounds left. Getting in cleaned me out. The only thing is to have a Visa to exchange money, but I left mine at home.

Brain: So nobody has a Visa?

Pinky, Wakko and Pesto: Nope.

Brain: (angrily) Great, well we're fucked. We've got no Visas.

Squit: Dude, I really hate saying this but...I think you'll have to call your dad.

Brain: Are you fuckin' insane?! It's one in the morning. He's gonna go fucking ballistic.

Pesto: Unlock it, B. I'm freezing.

Squit: He loves you. Plus, you dad is the only one to have a Visa. I'm sure he'd rather come and get you than see you suffer.

(Brain sighed and went to call his dad from his phone.)

Brain: Dad, it's Brain. Brain! Don't panic, nothing's wrong. Just calm down. No, I'm not dead. Well, if I'm dead, how could I be talking to you?

(The delivery guy comes out of nowhere.)

Delivery Guy: Oi!

Squit: Fuck.

Delivery Guy: You owe me £200.

Brain: I'll call you back. (hangs up)

Squit: Sir, as I am sure you're aware, private clamping is illegal. In addition to that, it is a weekend...

Delivery Guy: I couldn't get my fucking van out.

Brain: Look, I've just called my dad and he'll...

Delivery Guy: I couldn't give a fuck. **£200 NOW!**

(They all screamed as they get in the car quickly.)

Brain: I don't have it!

Squit: We don't have it!

(The delivery guy shakes and bashes Brain's car)

Delivery Guy: I want £200! Can't you fucking read? No fucking parking! I missed all my fucking deliveries.

(Brain saw Billie walking.)

Brain: Billie! Billie!

Delivery Guy: Give me my fucking money now. I'm gonna fucking kill you unless you give me my fucking money?

Brain: Do you still want that lift?

Billie: Erm, no. I'm fine, thanks.

Brain: Okay, see ya in…2 days.

(Billie leaves.)

Squit: Dude, just call your dad.

Brain: (sighed) Fine.

Delivery Guy: **£200 £200! GAHHH!** I'm gonna fucking kill you unless you give me my fucking money!

(Squit N/R: So we had successfully reinvented ourselves, but not as the boys who go clubbing. We were now the boys who freaked out girls,... (Dot: Yeah, would you stop staring at my tits, please?!) ...apologised a lot,... (Brain: Sorry, I'm really sorry.) ...wore tramp's shoes,... (Brain: Uhhh...they're a bit soggy. Homeless Guy: Aye, that'll be my piss.) ...and jerked off in public bathrooms. (Pesto: **My D is cut!)** And we agreed to never go clubbing in London ever again.)

Pesto: I think you've got a big problemo.

Brain: Oh, just shut up, Pesto!

Squit: Wow, you're really obsessed with that word.

Pesto: (confused) Whaddya mean by that?

Squit: What? Nothing, I just said you're really obsessed.

Pesto: (angrily) Oh, so what your sayin' that I'm an egotistical maniac who takes things too seriously to be annoying? That my range amuses you? Is that what your sayin'?!

Squit: No. I just said you're obsessed.

Pesto: I'm obsessed.

Squit: Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

(Then Pesto gets furious.)

Squit: (scared) Oh, for christ's sake.

Pesto: **DAT'S IT! **(then attacks Squit.) **THIS IS ALL YA FAULT, YOU GOT US INTO DIS MESS!**

Pinky: Ha, ha. Don't worry, Brain. Maybe y'all should try saying sorry over and over.

Wakko: Oh, sorry for parking like a retard.

(Pinky and Wakko laugh while Brain gets furious.)

Brain: Oh, just **FUCK OFF!**

**THE END!**

Hope you guys enjoyed this fan episode, I have been wanting to do this for a long time. If some makes an animation of this, it will be zany as **FUCK! **Thank ya, see yo lata! Peace.


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